ESSAY

How To Deal With Quarter Life Crisis

How To Deal With Quarter Life Crisis

Are you 25?

How to deal with quarter life crisis? Indeed, People said you are going to live in a quarter-life crisis when you were 25. I am 23 but 24 in my ID Card, something happened with the document, it’s tough to explain. However, this year I am turning 25 and have a quarter-life crisis.

When I was 15, I couldn’t wait till I turned 20–25 so I can move out, be in a relationship, start a family, and be financially secured with the career of my dreams. To this day, I still have not accomplished them yet. I wouldn’t call it a crisis, though. I am just overwhelmed with emotions of feeling pressured into building a responsible life.

Lately, I have been feeling pressured and desperate. I allow my emotions to come out and not hold them back. I am 24 and turning 25 this year. At this age, I am not married, still single, and living with my family. I am not able to invite a guy over who I like or night hangout with friends at my family’s place. It is killing me not to have that freedom of independence and dealing with aging parents.

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I have the urge and a strong desire to move out. I want to start a family of my own, I really need a partner to expostulate, to understand, and support each other right now. That will be great. I cannot just be single till my 30s, you know? This crisis of mine is not that bad, at least.

I wonder what it is like once I hit 30 because that is when the “clock is ticking” and I have read comments from people in their 30’s saying the crisis is worse when you are 30 than 25.

You see everyone around you graduating from college, getting a dream job, getting married, buying a house, and starting a family. Looking at them makes you feel like you have not achieved anything in life yet.

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Furthermore, You may still live with your parents in your mid-20s, and you feel like you are way behind everyone else when it comes to being independent. Also, you may feel like you have no value because you are not fully independent yet.

What Are Going happen to Quarter-Life Crisis?

1. You Will Feel Pressured

how to deal with quarter-life crisis
Photo: Muficasilda’s Illustration

There is a side of you that still wants to live your life to the fullest and take life easy because you are still young. You are not old, but you are not a kid anymore. Also, you should take the time to find out what you want, and you still have a life ahead of you.

Then the other side of you feels pressured by the people around you. People expect you to take responsibility for your life now. People ask you why you aren’t married yet, why you don’t have a stable job yet, and why you don’t have children yet. To people, you should have married, children, and a stable job by now at the age of 25. But you don’t, and it makes you feel anxious.

Read more: How To Deal With Quarter Life Crisis

You begin to ask yourself questions such as:

  1. Am I in the right career?
  2. When will I ever have kids of my own?
  3. How long does it take to find the right partner?
  4. Am I a loser for not acting my age?
  5. Why is everyone around me getting married and kids?
  6. Why am I behind everyone else when it comes to responsibility?
  7. Why haven’t I got my own house yet?

In a study presented at the British Psychological Society meeting this week, researchers distilled the five key phases of the quarter-life crisis (via New Scientist) from a survey of 50 volunteers who’d had them. From the article by Discover Magazine, they quote the 5 phases of Quarter-Life Crisis:

Phase 1 — A feeling of being trapped by your life choices. Feeling as though you are living your life on autopilot.

Phase 2 — A growing sense of “I’ve got to get out” and the feeling that you can change your life.

Phase 3 — Quitting the job or relationship or whatever else is making you feel trapped and embarking on a “time out” period where you try out new experiences to find out who you want to be.

Phase 4 — Rebuilding your life.

Phase 5 — Developing new commitments more attuned to your interests and aspirations.

I’ve had the feeling of phases 1, 2, and 3. I feel like I’m being trapped and stuck in my situation, I need to get out. Besides that, I know I can change my life for the better, but I just don’t know how to deal with it. It makes me feel pressured.

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2. What You Feel is Perfectly Normal

You’re not alone. I felt relieved that many people go through the same thing, and I was not struggling with it alone. Just embrace the crisis and pressure, understand why you are feeling this way.

Honestly, It’s healthy to question yourself when you are having a quarter-life crisis. But, do not let it overkill you. It means you can think for yourself, and you are serious about living a successful life. It is very ambitious.

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3. Stop Compare Your Life with Others

People have married, children, dream job, and house in 25. Just because people got their achievement in life does not mean they are happy with their life.

It’s honestly better to wait for the right time than get in a hurry for the sake of peer pressure and following up with the crowd. Being unready and hurrying up is the worst mistake you can make to yourself.

The most important thing is always to get closer to God. In Allah, I put my trust and everything will be alright.

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